I commend the parents who still bring their young children to church with them.  At least they are going.  Maybe Ms. Niemann should focus her time more constructively and put together some type of playgroup during these services for the children so that the little ones won't disturb her.

I myself can say this because I am the proud parent of two toddlers. Because of my knowledge of young children,  I do not attend my church because they may disrupt others like Ms. Niemann in the congregation who have no understanding at all. This is too bad, because not only do I not attend, but the five other children and adults from my family do not attend either.  We would like to attend, as in the past, and go as a family.  But I guess I can wait until the little ones understand more about displaying respect, reverence and responsibility.

I'll never forget the sense of awe and wonder I felt that day as, suddenly, those printed words made sense to my first-grade mind. A whole new world of books opened up for me. And from then on I felt like an included participant in church on Sundays, instead of a mere observer.

These days, my husband and I no longer attend the main service. Distraction from children allowed to mill about the premises by permissive and inattentive parents causes too much commotion. It's unsettling to watch these parents shirk their duty to train their children in consideration for the larger congregation, all in the name of "fun." I think back on Grandma's kind instruction that 1949 Sunday and appreciate more than ever that, for my benefit and everyone else's that day, she found a constructive outlet for my 7-year-old energy.

Now, at age 84, arthritis, diabetes and walking with cane support, I’m helped down the stairs after service by this former young kicker. Father and Mother now embrace me and give me a warm, "Peace."  They are regular in attendance as usual, but I am not.  Daughter takes part in many services around the church that are helpful.  As a former educator, I do feel that only when a child is ready and able (without toys and with proper instruction) to attend the length and concentrated service should they be allowed to attend.

Our parish has been receiving the spiritual effect of the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd.  If you should happen to visit a church, which has adopted this program, you will surely notice the attentiveness of the children and the adults.  The child is involved, watching and eagerly waiting for the bread and wine.  The picture of the child bouncing back from the altar [which accompanied Niemann’s column] could be an expression joy from just receiving the gifts of the body and blood of Jesus.

The curriculum meets the moral, psychological and physical needs of the developing child and affects the whole parish.  The themes aim to develop the precious religious potential within every child.  You can find many pages about this worldwide curriculum on the Internet, or maybe you will find a parish nearby where you can observe.

These days, I am observing that parents are not teaching their children to practice mannerly behavior befitting a church service.  Yes, it’s tough for a 4-year-old to sit quietly in a pew.  I had a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old with me at Eastertime, and the service was an hour and a half.  The parents, who were in the choir, thought it was time their two oldest practiced sitting through the service. They squirmed, lay down briefly in the pew, sat on the kneelers, etc., but uttered not a word, except for the prayers they had learned.  The 7-year-old sang from the hymnal with me.

I like to meditate and sit quietly before the service begins. It’s amazing how many adults are flitting across the aisles to chatter with friends.  The organist has practiced and prepared the preludes, but who is listening?  Children are not seeing good examples from the adults.

Children don’t have to grow up thinking that our services are grim and unfriendly, but they should grow up knowing that at the places they go, certain behaviors are appropriate:  the ballgame, the classroom, the restaurant, the playground, the concert and church.  If they learn to know the differences, they can be taken anywhere.

However, while I'm waiting for my boys to mature, I'm going to do my best to show them ways to use their natural gifts and energy to contribute to their church community. Our young boys don't experience church the way you do.  To them it is not just about reverence and respect -- it's more active than that.  It involves hugging, helping, exploring and doing.  Yes, the boys are energetic, but that energy can be a wonderful way to challenge us all.

This year, our Faith Shapers class (ages 2 to 6) hosted coffee hour, cooked dessert for the community homeless dinner, sent letters to the homebound members of our congregation, baked and sold dog biscuits to raise money for the Humane Society, wrote the Prayers of the People and made pinecone birdfeeders for wild birds in the winter.  They did all of this work and more with enthusiasm, cheerfulness and energy. Perhaps insisting that our children be "silent and reverent" in church isn't the only way to do things.  Perhaps we would all do well to experience church more the way the children do.

As a mother of three young children, I intend to teach them that their desire to play during church should not supercede the desire of others who came to church to pray, seek forgiveness, be fed. I certainly can't expect perfection from a 3- and 5-year-old, but shouldn't we be teaching our children -- even at very young ages -- to put others before ourselves, a concept that moves far beyond basic politeness?

At a recent Ash Wednesday service, we observed a mother and father allowing their three small children to run up the aisle, lie on the kneelers and pews, visit with their friends and play with toys. The parents completely ignored their behavior and then dragged them up to the altar for Communion!  Unfortunately, the rector believes that it's good for children to attend church "and do their thing," since they are part of the service and congregation, too.  His position is that it makes them feel welcomed.

There used to be a time when services were solemn, serious events not to be taken lightly.  Church dress was never jeans, hip huggers, T-shirts, tank tops, tennis shoes or flip-flops.  If one was given an invitation, would one visit the White House dressed like that?  It's time congregations and clergy wake up and demand better manners, dress, as well as behavior, from their parishioners. There is a time and place for playing as well as abbreviated dress – it is not at church.

We all need to attend to our own manners and be respectful during the service.  We are accepted by the Lord, flaws and all.  Maybe we need to be a little more tolerant of each other.

At heart in the issue Ms. Niemann raises is a restatement of baptismal theology, which enables all to partake in the Supper of the Lord, not just those who are confirmed, coupled with the hope that the current generation of children will never remember a time when they were excluded from worship.

What is a little noise or an occasional disturbance in the face of God's love for all of God's children?  Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs." That's good enough for me!